Spoiler alert: it was short and slow. But so awesome!

Finally - FINALLY! - after several long months, I went for a run again.

I was six weeks postpartum yesterday and at my checkup on Wednesday, I got my doctor's clearance to get out and resume harder workouts (like running!). Since I figured I would get that clearance at my visit, I had been looking forward to Thursday evening all week since D would be home from work travels and could spend some time with Baby B while I went out for a run.

Admittedly, I was worried about how it would go. Would my legs remember what to do? Would I have any weird, lingering aches and pains from pregnancy? Would my pelvic floor feel like it was falling out and cause me to lose all bladder control (seriously, it happens apparently)? Would running feel awkward? And just how slow was I going to be?

But my legs did remember what to do and there were no weird aches and pains. I felt a little weaker in my core and need to build that strength back up, and I could feel the weight of those extra ten to fifteen pounds that are lingering around my abdomen and thighs, but my running gait felt the same. And (probably most importantly) I don't have any weird issues with my pelvic floor or anything so I don't think I'll be peeing my running shorts any time soon. My pace was much slower than what I ran pre-pregnancy, but I expected that and it's something that I'm sure will come back as I get back into the swing of things.

But as I took those first few steps, I felt...free. And normal, like myself again.

And I knew that despite my ridiculous fears to the contrary when I first found out I was pregnant, I am still a runner. It's still an integral part of my identity and routine, and that doesn't have to change just because I'm a mom. That first run was as good for me mentally and emotionally as it was physically.

And then I came home, gave my sweet little boy a bath while he flashed his gummy smile at me, held him while he drifted off to sleep, watched Frozen with D, and fell asleep deliriously happy with my new normal.